Monday, February 1, 2016

Changes - written middle of August, saved in Drafts by mistake :(

I think this is my last "unpublished" blog post.  I saved it in drafts and I just saw it tonight.  I really didn't have the hang of this when I started, and I guess I was a little distracted :)   I wrote this in August, 2 weeks after my cancer diagnosis.

Wow.   Talk about changes!  Two weeks ago I was a healthy, happy woman trying to pull the most out of the last few weeks of summer.   I know, technically, summer doesn't end until sometime in September.  But, for me, it ends at the end of August.  I love summer.   I love the heat.   I love golfing in the heat.   I love swimming in the heat.  I just love summer.

Now, two weeks later I am facing a battle that could take my life.   I have no plans of letting it win.  I plan to fight this thing like I have never fought before.  I will be journaling my fight here.   I will be posting other things here, but I really think that recording my feelings during this fight will be helpful.   Hopefully, it will be helpful to other women facing the same battle.  Or anyone facing a life threatening illness.  You can't just sit back and feel sorry for yourself and say "why me?"    I asked that.  I eat healthy, I don't smoke, I haven't drank much in my lifetime, I exercise every day.   How could this happen to me and WHY?   Well, why NOT me?   Cancer doesn't discriminate.  It just happens.

I am scared, but I also have peace.   God has given me the tools to fight this.  My healthy physical condition will help me so much as I face a very rough treatment schedule.  I will continue to eat healthy, drink my Shakelogy (with my Oncologist's blessing), and I will continue to exercise.   I will listen to my body.  If it is telling me to stay in bed that day, I will.  If it is telling me I can go for a walk, I will.  I know that it will be beneficial to me physically and mentally to MOVE.  It will release those endorphins that I will desperately need.

I promise I will talk about other things besides cancer here on my blog.   There is so much more to me than that.  It doesn't define me and it will NOT beat me.

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