I wrote this the evening after my last chemo treatment, but it didn't post correctly. Here it is:
Well, here I am, 20 weeks of chemo DONE! I have to admit, it wasn't as bad as I had envisioned it. When I heard "20 weeks of chemotherapy", I envisioned 20 weeks of my bald head stuck in a toilet throwing up. While I DID lose my hair, I have not been nauseated at all. As a matter of fact, I have been HUNGRY most of the time. Hungry. I mentioned this to my oncologist, and she told me that it was a very good thing, and to eat.
I have nothing but good things to say of the people at Illinois Cancer Care. The workers and the volunteers there always went out of their way to make the experience better. The volunteers were amazing. They were always walking around with a friendly smile, and usually food. The Service Dogs that came in always made me happy. I can't be unhappy when I'm petting a dog, it just doesn't happen.
It will seem very odd NOT to go to chemo on Thursdays. I almost feel a separation anxiety, if that makes sense. When I go there for treatment, I feel like I am fighting back. I'm doing something to fight this nasty disease. I almost feel like NOT going will allow it to grow. I know that isn't correct, just a goofy feeling I have. I have a little over 3 weeks between chemo and my surgery, and I know that it won't get worse in those 3 weeks, but I'm having trouble shaking that feeling.
I have a PET Scan coming up, on Jan 27, which I'm a little anxious about. I really expect a good report, but I think the anxiety comes from remembering how I felt LAST time I had the scan done. Wow, I was a basket case, waiting to see if the cancer was other places in my body I have NO REASON whatsoever to think it is anywhere else, but I'm still anxious any way.
I am so glad to be done with steroids. I hate taking them! I know that they are necessary sometimes, but man, they mess with me. For 2 days I have trouble sleeping, then I crash and do nothing except sleep. I also can't get enough food. Ugh! So glad to be done with them!!
The first leg of my 3 part journey (chemo, surgery, radiation) is completed, and for that I am very thankful!