Sunday, January 31, 2016

PET Scan Anxiety

Last Wednesday I had my PET Scan.  The test was a breeze!  Well, the fact that I couldn't have any coffee made it not TOTALLY a breeze, but other than that I have no complaints.   I had to be there at 8 and by 9:50 we were done!  I was on my way to get my coffee fix!

Okay, I have to be honest, I went and ate pancakes afterwards.  Yep, pancakes.  When they called me to give me instructions, they said to not eat any carbs for supper on Tuesday, and nothing but water after that.  Well, what did I see immediately on the TV?  The IHop ad for all you can eat pancakes.  Yep, it was stuck in my head.  I can't even remember the last time I ate pancakes, but that was ALL I could think about after seeing the commercial.

So, off to IHop Dad and I went.  Coffee and pancakes were my friend that day!  One thing I have learned in my fitness journey, is to not deprive myself.  Do I indulge in pancakes every day?  Heck, no!  But, if I really want something, I need to find a way to work it into my meal planning.  If you feel deprived, that leads to overeating on several unhealthy things, and I usually still don't feel satisfied. 

When I left, they said I would get my results on Monday morning at my Oncology appointment.  I would be lying if I said I haven't stressed about it.  The closer I get to Monday, the more anxious I am about the results.  I know I shouldn't be anxious about it, but I still am. 

I have not had any tests done since I began chemotherapy.   Every week they have done an examination on me, and my lymph nodes in my arm pit area have went down every single week.  Originally, they were 3.8cm, and now they are about pea size.  So, if the treatment is working that well on those lymph nodes, there is no reason to think it isn't working on all of them.  I have one lymph node in my sternum that they can't remove.   Chemo and radiation will have to eradicate the cancer that is in it.  That is the one I am concerned about.  I don't know if it has shrunk, gotten larger or stayed the same.   Logic would lead me to think that it has responded in the same manner as the other lymph nodes that they can feel.  Logic.  I guess I am lacking it right now, because I'm worried about it.  I will continue to worry until tomorrow, when I get my report.

I will update this (and hopefully remember to publish it, unlike my last one) tomorrow with my results!

Done with chemo

I wrote this the evening after my last chemo treatment, but it didn't post correctly.  Here it is:

Well, here I am, 20 weeks of chemo DONE!  I have to admit, it wasn't as bad as I had envisioned it.  When I heard "20 weeks of chemotherapy", I envisioned 20 weeks of my bald head stuck in a toilet throwing up.  While I DID lose my hair, I have not been nauseated at all.  As a matter of fact, I have been HUNGRY most of the time.  Hungry.  I mentioned this to my oncologist, and she told me that it was a very good thing, and to eat.

I have nothing but good things to say of the people at Illinois Cancer Care.   The workers and the volunteers there always went out of their way to make the experience better.   The volunteers were amazing.  They were always walking around with a friendly smile, and usually food.   The Service Dogs that came in always made me happy.  I can't be unhappy when I'm petting a dog, it just doesn't happen. 

It will seem very odd NOT to go to chemo on Thursdays.  I almost feel a separation anxiety, if that makes sense.  When I go there for treatment, I feel like I am fighting back.  I'm doing something to fight this nasty disease.  I almost feel like NOT going will allow it to grow.  I know that isn't correct, just a goofy feeling I have.  I have a little over 3 weeks between chemo and my surgery, and I know that it won't get worse in those 3 weeks, but I'm having trouble shaking that feeling.

I have a PET Scan coming up, on Jan 27, which I'm a little anxious about.  I really expect a good report, but I think the anxiety comes from remembering how I felt LAST time I had the scan done.  Wow, I was a basket case, waiting to see if the cancer was other places in my body  I have NO REASON whatsoever to think it is anywhere else, but I'm still anxious any way.

I am so glad to be done with steroids.  I hate taking them!  I know that they are necessary sometimes, but man, they mess with me.  For 2 days I have trouble sleeping, then I crash and do nothing except sleep.  I also can't get enough food.  Ugh!  So glad to be done with them!!

The first leg of my 3 part journey (chemo, surgery, radiation) is completed, and for that I am very thankful!