On Friday, I tentatively washed my hair, being very careful with it. I lost a little more than normal, but I was being very careful with it. I didn't comb it, using my fingers to arrange and separate my curls. As I noticed it breaking and coming out, I knew it was time. I called Marsha, my good friend who has done my hair for almost 30 years. I told her it was time. She said she was free all weekend and to give her a call when I was ready.
I had invited my two beautiful granddaughters, Ryleigh and Keighley, (10 & 9) to spend the night with me on Saturday night and I told them that they could cut my hair. Their eyes twinkled and sparkled at the thought of it! LOL I knew that having them there would make me be strong and not cry.
They came after their cheerleading on Saturday and we had a ball. They chip chopped on my hair for about 20 minutes, creating a very unique style. We laughed and giggled and it did my heart good. Marsha came about an hour later, and she finished the job off. I discovered that I have a very nicely shaped head, if I don't say so myself. No big bumps or flat spots. However, it's not a look I would CHOOSE to have, but it is a look I will have for awhile while I kick cancer's a$#.
It was empowering to get it off. I had had such high anxiety over the past few days over my hair. Yesterday, I felt in control. I decided when this was happening, not this horrible disease that is trying to kill me - and it will FAIL miserably, I might add! It has taken my hair, but it is on my terms.
On a PLUS note, I haven't shaved my legs in 3 weeks and they are as smooth as can be! Some with my underarms. Now, if that pesky hair that I keep plucking off my chin would follow suit, I will be a happy girl!
I'm not going to lie, I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and burst out in tears. I'm going to allow it, for a bit, today. It didn't last long. Keighley woke up and I wiped the tears away and gave her a hug and a kiss and we are watching The Chronicles of Narnia. Today is the LAST DAY I will shed tears for my hair. LAST DAY!!! It is a small price to pay for my life, and it isn't important in the long run.
Stay well, my friends, and thanks for coming on this journey with me!